Monday, October 26, 2015

I fell in love..

I fell in love, at a young age.. Not knowing what "love" actually was. I was never shown that, I was never taught that. It was foreign to me.. But one I saw you, I knew, I knew that there was no escaping what I felt.. The moment that I saw you, as cliche as it sounds, you took my breath away. I was so flustered.. Then you left, i tried and tried to tell myself that I didn't love you.. You came back, left, came back, left, came back, left and so on...... if anyone would have told me that this is what my life was going to turn out to be, I would have never believed it.. I never understood why you always came back and at the first sign of things going bad you would give up. You say you want this, you say you can't and don't want to live your life without me. Then how? Why? I'm right here try to give you all of me. Take it. After everything, every name being called ever hit being thrown, every lie... everything... I'm right here. So you say to me, "I don't get how you want to keep goin thru the hell we
put each other thru". How can I not? You're worth the world and more to me. I'm in love with you, every part of you. The good, the bad, the evil... The crazy.... everything. I'm addicted to the passion, the happiness, the craziness that you make me feel. You're so fucked up, it drives me insane but it's why I love you. Most people would think I was fuckin insane for the way I feel... most people would say that I don't deserve it, I deserve better or how I can deal with your agressivness. I don't want "better" I want you. And for the agressivness, I just feel so much love in it... It might sound crazy but theres something about it, it makes me want you more.... You're such a beautiful mess, the most beautiful man I've ever laid my eyes on. I get an overwhelming amount of feelings when I just think about you. I can't say your name without wanting to smile. You've done something to me, you made me feel love, you made me feel life. I love it. I love you more and more each time. It's not something that should keep happening, but I'm willing to work through it till the day we get things right. I have that hope and faith in us.

And now your gone, and we're in a whole new struggle... One that we have no control over... We've gotten over all of the abuse, we made it past everything... But now, now we hardly have each other. I'd give anything to have you here with me.